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  • Humour & Top tips thread.

    I'm sure we had a humour thread before but things seem a little wonky at the mo. so anything you see that tickles you, get it on here.

    my top tip for the day...

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    Last edited by deerworrier; 20-08-18, 20:46.
    “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


    Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
    Always aim to be that man.

  • #2
    ha ha thats brilliant!
    Hope your enjoying the cr#p out of that LHD.
    I was a one watch guy until I got my first SEIKO

    Comment


    • #3
      Excellent work Mr Worrier. Here are a couple of 'top tips' from the UK literary giants, Viz.
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      Preparation and planning prevent piss poor performance

      Comment


      • #4
        A New Zealander, a sheep and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck.

        They found themselves stranded on a desert island and after being there for a while they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.

        One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the Kiwi.

        Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

        But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the Kiwi took his arm from around the sheep.

        After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

        A few weeks passed by and lo, and behold, there was another shipwreck.

        The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the Kiwi had ever seen.

        She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health.

        When the young maiden was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual.

        It was another beautiful evening: red cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.

        Pretty soon the New Zealander started to get 'those feelings' again. He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear...
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        .
        'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'
        “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


        Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
        Always aim to be that man.

        Comment


        • #5
          A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He spots a man down below and lowers the balloon to shout: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

          The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”

          “You must be a construction manager” says the balloonist.

          “I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”

          “Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”

          The man below says “You must be a project manager.”

          “I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

          “Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problems. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
          “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


          Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
          Always aim to be that man.

          Comment


          • #6
            “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


            Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
            Always aim to be that man.

            Comment


            • #7
              Bit warped today but showing my true colors

              Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

              Rest easy Matty , My best Mate and Son

              Comment


              • #8
                Click image for larger version

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                “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


                Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
                Always aim to be that man.

                Comment


                • #9
                  I'm gonna be banned for this.
                  But what the heck.


                  Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

                  Rest easy Matty , My best Mate and Son

                  Comment


                  • #10
                     
                    “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


                    Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
                    Always aim to be that man.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What the feck did i just watch , i was nearly there with them in sympathy , christ but thats some funny shite you sir are a sick individual
                      'why tip toe thru life ,only to arrive safely at death'

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Click image for larger version

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                        “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


                        Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
                        Always aim to be that man.

                        Comment


                        • #13


                          Freeking pissing myself watching that youtube clip... gotta show this to the mrs .

                          She will choke on her laughter .
                          Sick dude sick
                          Rest easy Matty , My best Mate and Son

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Click image for larger version

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                            “Strong people are harder to kill than weak people and more useful in general.”


                            Despite having the numbers, there is the crazy man in the mountains that none of the tribes will go near!
                            Always aim to be that man.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Thought this was an ironic scene on my way home from dropping off the kids this morning.

                              Sent from my SM-G955F using Tapatalk

                              I was a one watch guy until I got my first SEIKO

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